How to Get Great Recommendation Letters for College — Without the Awkwardness

 

Asking someone to write a letter about how awesome you are can feel… awkward. But recommendation letters are a big deal in college admissions. They give colleges a glimpse of who you are beyond grades and test scores.

Here’s how to make the process smoother, more effective, and a lot less stressful:


1. Pick People Who Really Know You

This isn’t a popularity contest. Choose a teacher, counselor, or mentor who knows your journey — someone who’s seen how hard you’ve worked, how you show up for others, or how you’ve grown over time. They’ll be able to write more honestly and powerfully than someone who barely knows your name.

Think: “Who could tell a story about me, not just list my achievements?”

2. Ask Early (Really Early)

Teachers receive many requests, especially during application season. Give them plenty of time (a month is ideal), and don’t drop a rushed email. If possible, ask in person or send a thoughtful message that shows appreciation.

A simple “Would you feel comfortable writing a recommendation for me?” goes a long way.

3. Make It Easy for Them

Help them help you. Share a quick list of your activities, goals, and the colleges you’re applying to. Let them know what you’re hoping they can highlight, like your leadership in a club or your improvement in class. Just don’t write the letter for them (colleges can tell).

4. Stories > Superlatives

The best letters tell stories — not just say, “She’s amazing!” A good recommender will describe real moments that show your effort, growth, or curiosity. Please give them a gentle nudge by reminding them of times that stood out to you.

5. Say Thank You — Every Time

After they submit, send a real thank-you note. Not just a “Thanks!” text. A few kind sentences can leave a lasting impression. These are busy people who went the extra mile for you and might do it again someday if you stay in touch.

 The Bottom Line:

Great recommendation letters don’t happen by accident. They occur when you take the lead, thoughtfully, respectfully, and with a bit of planning. It’s just another way you’re telling your story, with someone else backing you up. 

 

Want more tips like this?

Join the MyCollegely Pulse to find out what you need to do next in your journey — and get matched with a mentor who’s been through it all.

 

Take the Pulse Quiz and take the guesswork out of college.

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